Wednesday, February 23, 2011

Dark Secrets...seduced by older sister playing Doctor! The healing process is painful!

For the first time in years, I suddenly recalled an unpleasant memory from my childhood, which unexpectedly loomed large in my consciousness yesterday afternoon.

Out-of-the-blue one day, about fifty years ago, my older sister lured me in to her bedroom to play "Doctor".

For some inexplicable reason, the almost-surreal fleshy images of "Doreen" naked on the bed - urging me to stroke her vagina - triggered a flood of emotions difficult to wrestle with.

Perhaps, it was the confession of a Senator (who was sexually assaulted when he was a youth) that jolted the sick memories loose from the inner reaches of my mind - to the upper realms of my waking consciousness now.

Just maybe, I've unknowingly been scarred by the seduction for decades, oblivious to their negative impact on my overall psyche or even my day-to-day personal and professional relationships.

And, what of my self-esteem!

Was it adversely affected, too, without my knowledge?

The cloud that looms over me now has caused me to reflect - and seek healing - in a bid to free myself of the shackles that once bound me 'til now.

Meanwhile, in spite of the fact I was separated from my family when I was about ten or eleven years old, my sister contacted me recently to strike up ties once again after stumbling on my blog on the Internet.

When I failed to respond to her urgent messages, she fired off an angry response.

"I am your sister, you know."

Personally, I feel that just because you are born into a family, does not mean you are required to remain in that family circle, or carry on a charade.

Notwithstanding, God took me by the hand, and led me down another path long ago.

In the final analysis, I hope that parents will teach their children to be careful not to overstep their bounds, or betray a sacred family trust.


The innocence of youth!