Prince Harry crawled out of a glorified pup tent bright-and-early at the crack-of-dawn this morning in the great white North - braving twenty-below-zero weather - and summarized the harrowing experience this way.
"Things went on in there that won't be discussed ever again," he wickedly laughed to a dotting reporter who was all ears!
A tent-mate was quick on the uptake, too, as he confided the awful truth.
Prince Harry snores!
"It's sort-of a cozy snore. Like...a 'hmmm'," he laughed boisterously.
"The Prince has a sort-of base 'thing' going on," which wasn't too difficult to suffer through, the pal was quick to point out to soften the blow.
Years ago, I was forced to kick a lover out of bed (and end a relationship) - because of snoring that was so loud and obnoxious - that it kept me awake all night.
I tried to follow the advice of Ann Landers, before taking action, though.
In one column many moons ago, a reader solicited Ms. Landers for a solution to the problem when faced with a chronic snorer.
"Just give the person a jab in the side," she urged the sleepless correspondent.
According to Ms. Landers, the snorer would respond with a turn to their side - and ultimately - free up the breathing passage so the hapless individual could sleep properly (and peacefully) once again.
It didn't work for moi, no Sir!
The one-on-one interview with a "Good Morning America" reporter was a bit of a coup for the Network, by the way, especially when you consider that the Royals are generally tight-lipped when it comes to the prying press.
The ambitious newsie managed to gain the trust of the Prince since both support a similar cause.
Both are concerned about the plight of soldiers on the battlefield, and in the aftermath, when they return home (oftentimes scarred by the horrors of War).
But, one subject was off-limits, and strictly taboo.
Prince Harry declined to comment on wild speculations that ran rampant in the media recently in respect to the infamous "stag" party he was supposed to toss for his brother - Wills - which never materialized for some inexplicable reason.
Did his grandmother (Queen E 2) step in and nix the celebrations?
If so, Harry wasn't fessing up!
The answer is blowing in the cold North wind!
Meanwhile, Prince Harry is scheduled to fly to the North Pole tomorrow (weather permitting) to spend five days with the troops to boost their morale.
When questioned about his stint in Afghanistan three years ago, he waxed poetic a bit - but, for the most part - was pretty forthcoming and down-to-earth in his response.
"Everyone comes together. You are responsible for the guy to your left and to your right. There is a sense of payback, too."
The reporter quizzed the lad about the real possibility about having to kill in the line of duty.
How did Prince Harry feel about that end scenario?
"A job is a job," he stated matter-of-fact, without pulling any punches.
"You progress with your life."
Prince Harry was elated at the prospect of maneuvering the Apache, a helicopter he has been assigned to fly when he returns to the front lines.
"I feel very lucky for the opportunity. The Apache is safe. And, powerful."
Surprisingly, Harry did not hold back when the topic turned to the upcoming wedding at the end of the month.
"They're the perfect match," he beamed, in reference to William and Kate.
The single (available) bachelor was inclined to cheer on his sister-in-law, and welcome her to the family with open arms, too.
"She's like a big sister. I am looking forward to going under her wing."
In a poignant moment, the freckled-faced helicopter pilot admitted that he would have liked to have had a younger brother or sister.
Of course, that family situation didn't pan out, due to the untimely death of Lady Diana.
The Prince was adamant that the thoughts of the Royal family will be with his mother on the day of the nuptials.
"I think she would be proud of William," he assured the reporter.
Prince Charles - though quite busy - has allegedly been quite hand-on in his role as father of the groom, too, according to Harry.
The Prince was pretty candid about his upcoming speech at the much-ballyhooed celebrations across the big pond, as well.
"My grandmother will be there. But, it will not be unlike any other Best Man's speech," he grinned.
The Prince promises to sprinkle the send-off tribute with a bit of humor, for sure!
Will any deep dark secrets be divulged?
If so, he's not telling.
Loose lips sink ships, after all.
However, Harry let one juicy bit of gossip slip during the course of a conversation with a news outlet, whether he intended to or not.
Prince William was pining to marry two years ago, but - allegedly -put off his plans because of the frenzied swirl of pressure that the lovebirds encountered daily because of a vigilant press out to land a "scoop".
But, Wills is ready to take the plunge, now.
Congrats to William & Kate!
Lovebirds savoring informal moment!