Friday, May 13, 2011

Ashton replace mean machine Charlie Sheen! Underwear model may titillate!

Early yesterday morning, the Network that produces the TV Sitcom - Two and a Half Men - was obviously throwing up a smoke screen as their negotations with an actor they were keen on scooping for one of their shut-down productions capable of reapling in big-bucks were underway.


The Internet - and News outlets around the country - were a-buzz with the rumor that Hugh Grant (Sunset Strip bad-boy of yesteryear) was about to prove his acting chops (and star power) by landing the lead on a top-rated American nightly funny.

According to the scuttlebutt, Grant was a good fit to step into the role, by virtue of his notorious past.

But, a dude in the shadows was inking a deal to the surprise of agents, out-of-work actors, and media outlets.

Ashton Kutcher - a 36-year-old Cougar-lover (with 6 million twitter followers) - had apparently nabbed the role at the 11th hour.

Talk about in-like-Flynn, eh?

Even though the stardust hadn't even settled yet, a disgruntled - bent-out-of-whack has-been by the name of Charlie Sheen - was spouting off at the mouth.


Quick to avoid criticism, Sheen focused on the ratings, and refrained from taking pot shots at the actor who would replace him, in spite of his tendency to do so with the likes of John Stamos on the heels of his firing.

Frankly, I think the dude with the tiger blood, got caught with his pants down (again!).

Even still, Mr. Sheen was not a loss for words.

"Enjoy planet Chuck, Ashton," laughed Sheen on hearing the astounding news.

"There is no air, laughter, loyalty, or love there," he noted for the record.

The hunka-hunka porn love did not go quietly in the night, either.

No, Sir!

His thoughts on Demi's better-half in a nutshell?

"Kutcher is a sweetheart and a brilliant comedic performer," he applauded.

But, in the final analysis, the drug-addled actor tried to take a nasty snipe at the handsome former male model when he inferred that Mr. Kutcher was not capable of rustling up a ratings coup in a powerhouse demographic.

"Enjoy the show, America," he huffed.

"Enjoy seeing a 2.0 in the demo every Monday at WB."

In-between the lines, Charlie appeared to be inferring that the network brass may be back knocking on his door in the near ffuture, when Ashton's MISSION: IMPOSSIBLE fails.

News at 11!

Was it something I said? Duh!

Revolving door swings other way!